Regaining Control to Reduce Stress: How Small Actions Restore a Sense of Agency

A loss of control is one of the most consistent predictors of stress.

When people feel unable to influence what happens next, pressure often feels heavier, uncertainty becomes more difficult to tolerate, and recovery can become harder to achieve.

Many situations that contribute to stress involve some degree of reduced control. Workloads increase, priorities shift, organizational changes occur, and unexpected events disrupt carefully made plans.

In these situations, people often face an important question:

What can I do when I cannot immediately change the circumstances causing the stress?

The answer often lies in restoring a sense of agency.

Agency refers to the feeling that your actions still matter, that you can influence aspects of your situation, and that you retain the ability to make meaningful choices.

Even small increases in agency can influence how people adapt to pressure and respond to stressful situations.

Key Takeaways

• A loss of control is a common source of stress.
• Agency refers to the ability to influence aspects of your situation through your actions and decisions.
• Small actions can help restore a sense of control, even when circumstances remain difficult.
• Boundaries, communication, problem solving, and focusing on influence can all strengthen agency.
• Regaining agency can improve adaptation and reduce feelings of helplessness.

Why Control Influences Stress

The human brain constantly evaluates the environment for opportunities and threats.

Part of that evaluation involves determining whether action is possible.

When people believe they can influence an outcome, challenges often feel more manageable.

When they feel trapped, powerless, or unable to act, stress responses often become stronger.

Research consistently shows that people who experience little control over their work, schedule, or environment report higher levels of stress and greater risk of burnout.

This relationship helps explain why autonomy, decision-making opportunities, and clear choices are associated with better well-being.

If you would like to learn more about why a lack of control is such a powerful source of stress, see our article on lack of control as a cause of stress.

Control and Agency Are Not the Same Thing

Many stressful situations involve circumstances that cannot be changed immediately.

A difficult manager, an organizational restructuring, financial pressures, or a health concern may remain present regardless of how motivated someone feels.

Agency focuses on a different question:

What influence is still available?

The answer may be smaller than we would like, but it is hardly ever zero.

Agency often emerges through choices about communication, priorities, boundaries, preparation, and how attention is directed.

These actions can reduce feelings of helplessness and create opportunities for adaptation.

Setting Boundaries Creates Space for Recovery

One way people regain agency is through boundaries.

Boundaries help protect limited resources such as time, energy, and attention.

For example:

"Thank you for the invitation. I would love to join another time,. I need to prepare for an important meeting tomorrow."

This type of response acknowledges the other person's request while communicating a clear decision.

When boundaries are stated calmly and consistently, they help people preserve resources that would otherwise become depleted.

When Saying No Is Not Possible

There are situations where refusing a request is not realistic.

A project deadline may affect colleagues. A client commitment may need to be honored. Family responsibilities may require attention.

In these circumstances, agency can often be restored through collaboration.

For example:

"I understand this deadline is important. The current workload is more than one person can reasonably complete. Could we look at priorities together?"

The conversation shifts from carrying the burden alone toward exploring solutions collectively.

This approach often creates opportunities to adjust priorities, redistribute work, or identify additional support.

Small Actions Can Reduce Feelings of Helplessness

Stress often encourages avoidance.

People delay difficult conversations, postpone decisions, or withdraw from problems that feel overwhelming.

Unfortunately, avoidance can increase feelings of powerlessness.

Taking action, even on a small scale, often has the opposite effect.

Examples include:

• Scheduling a conversation instead of worrying about it
• Breaking a large task into smaller steps
• Clarifying expectations with a manager
• Creating a plan for the next week
• Organizing part of a chaotic workspace

These actions create evidence that progress remains possible, even when larger challenges have not yet been resolved.

Focus on Influence Rather Than Worry

People frequently spend time thinking about situations they cannot directly change.

Economic conditions, organizational decisions, the behaviour of other people, or future uncertainties can easily become sources of ongoing concern.

A useful question is:

"What part of this situation can I influence today?"

This shifts attention toward actions rather than predictions.

For example:

• A changing workplace policy may be outside your control, but you can ask questions and prepare for its impact.
• A difficult colleague may not change their behaviour, but you can change how you communicate with them.
• A demanding project may still be challenging, but you can clarify priorities and identify available support.

Focusing on influence helps direct energy toward areas where action remains possible.

Adjust Expectations During Demanding Periods

Periods of pressure often require adjustments.

People sometimes continue expecting the same level of performance, energy, and productivity despite facing substantially greater demands.

This can create additional frustration and self-criticism.

Adjusting expectations to match current circumstances can help preserve resources and reduce unnecessary pressure.

In some situations, maintaining progress may be a more realistic goal than pursuing perfection.

Agency Supports Adaptation

Even during difficult periods, some choices usually remain available.

Identifying those choices is often the first step toward restoring a sense of agency.

Agency develops when people identify opportunities to act, influence, communicate, and make decisions within the reality they face.

These actions help create a greater sense of involvement in shaping outcomes rather than simply reacting to them.

Over time, this can support adaptation and make periods of pressure easier to manage.

Recognizing When Pressure Is Beginning to Accumulate

A reduced sense of control often appears early in the stress process.

People may notice increasing frustration, feelings of helplessness, difficulty making decisions, or a growing sense that demands are outpacing available resources.

Recognizing these signs early creates opportunities to respond before pressure becomes more difficult to manage.

If you would like to learn more about the early signs that pressure is beginning to accumulate, download the free Stressinsight guide:

Signs You're Under Too Much Pressure

The guide explains common indicators of accumulating pressure and how they fit into the broader stress process.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the difference between control and agency?
Control refers to the ability to influence outcomes or circumstances. Agency refers to the sense that your actions still have influence and that meaningful choices remain available.

Why does a lack of control increase stress?
People generally cope better with challenges when they believe their actions can influence outcomes. A lack of control is often associated with uncertainty, helplessness, and stronger stress responses.

Can small actions really reduce stress?
Small actions often help restore a sense of agency. While they may not eliminate major stressors, they can reduce helplessness and support adaptation.

What if I cannot change the situation causing my stress?
Even when circumstances cannot be changed immediately, opportunities often remain to influence communication, boundaries, priorities, preparation, or support.

Is regaining control the same as positive thinking?
Regaining control involves identifying realistic opportunities for action and influence within a situation rather than simply changing how a situation is viewed.