Knowing the signs of stress in yourself is one thing — recognizing them in others is another. You can’t rely on the physical symptoms you feel personally, so you have to look for behavioral, emotional, and cognitive changes instead. Here’s how to recognize the signs of stress in others, and what to do to help.
Recognizing Physiological Signs of Stress in Others
Some physical symptoms of stress — like a racing heart or stomach pain — are hard to spot in someone else. But a few clues might give it away:
- Excessive sweating or nervous tics
- Overeating comfort foods (e.g., fast food, snacks) — or a loss of appetite
- Smoking more or drinking more alcohol
These behaviors are linked to stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. Over time, unhealthy habits used to cope with stress may lead to obesity, liver problems, or heart disease.
Loss of appetite, which occurs in around 40% of people under chronic stress, often comes with loss of interest in pleasurable activities and social withdrawal. If someone around you appears to be losing weight or mentions insomnia or headaches, it could be a red flag.
Emotional and Behavioral Symptoms of Stress
Stress strongly affects how the brain works — and that’s often reflected in a person’s mood and behavior. Look out for:
- Irritability, anger, or mood swings
- Anxiety and constant worrying
- Frustration or feeling overwhelmed
- A sudden loss of humor or joy
- Lower self-esteem (unusual for the person)
- Trouble concentrating or frequent distractions
- Poor decision-making and problem-solving
- Memory lapses and forgetfulness
- Withdrawal from social contact
Stress limits cognitive function. Under low stress, people can process seven pieces of information at once. Under high stress, this drops to three — and they tend to remember only what’s most important to them or what was said last.
For example, if a colleague forgets agreed-upon tasks, don’t jump to conclusions. Stress may be affecting their attention span and memory, not their work ethic.
How to Talk About Stress With Someone
It’s not always easy to start a conversation about stress. Some people feel ashamed or see stress as a weakness. Others may avoid social contact altogether.
Still, if you’re concerned, it’s worth reaching out. You don’t have to be a therapist — just a good listener. Ask open-ended questions like:
- “How have you been feeling lately?”
- “Are you alright? I’ve noticed you seem a bit different.”
Using “I” statements makes it clear that you’re expressing concern based on your own observations — not judgment. This helps the other person open up.
If appropriate, you might gently encourage the person to:
- Take a walk or get some fresh air
- Talk to a manager about workload concerns
- Reconnect with activities or people they enjoy
The ABC Method: A Professional Approach to Recognizing Stress
If you’re unsure how to assess someone’s stress, try using the ABC method — a framework that professionals use:
A = Affective (Emotions)
Ask questions to uncover emotional causes of stress.
“What are you stressed about?”
“When do you feel the most overwhelmed?”
This helps identify whether anxiety, frustration, or sadness is at the root.
B = Behavior
- Observe any new or unusual behaviors like irritability, social withdrawal, or substance use.
- Use “I” messages to reflect what you’ve noticed:
- “I’ve noticed you’ve seemed more withdrawn lately.”
C = Cognition
- Look for signs of impaired concentration, forgetfulness, or indecisiveness.
- Stress affects thinking patterns, and pointing this out kindly can open a conversation.
Combining observations across these three domains gives you a clearer picture of someone’s stress level. One symptom alone doesn’t mean someone is stressed — but together, they tell a story.
Be the One Who Notices
Stress is often invisible — but you can be the person who notices the signs. Use empathy, gentle curiosity, and thoughtful questions to open the door. You might be surprised at how much relief someone feels just from being seen.
Explore more stress recognition tools and science-based strategies at Stressinsight.com, or learn how to help yourself and others through our course Surmounting Stress.
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only. For medical advice, speak to a qualified professional.
